Everything Is A-OK

As I type this, I am winging my way across America, headed to L.A. for a weekend trip to hang with my brother and run the Hollywood Half. I’ve got an extra seat beside me, and the plane has wifi, so I can catch up on blogging and emails. The cabin temp is comfortable, and no one in my proximity gorged on onions for breakfast (I have the uncanny ability to always be seated next to onion lovers). Everything is cool, except…

 

Yep, that’s my wonky pinky finger. Last Friday, while working out with my trainer, he threw a medicine ball to me, and let’s just say I didn’t catch it properly. Because that sounds better than saying I’m scared to death of balls, always have been, and now I assuredly always will be. Although I was a nearly straight-A student growing up, P.E. classes always wrecked my GPA. Volleyballs, basketballs, even tennis balls struck fear in me, the thought of them racing toward my face enough to bring me to tears. There was no way I could ever keep my eye on the ball, because as soon as one made an appearance, I squeezed my eyes shut, cowered down and made a sound somewhat like a cross between a muffled scream and a wheeze.

So when my trainer casually tossed me a ball that was way too heavy, with little notice, I panicked. And I bent my pinky back at a weird angle. But I am nothing if not hardheaded! I consider my stubbornness to be a virtue, because it’s probably the closest thing to a good quality that I’ve got. I wasn’t going to let a little finger get in the way of my workout. I continued on with my exercises, which involved swinging a kettle ball and punching the trainer a few hundred times (that felt pretty good).

But by Friday night, my hand was grossly swollen, and my doctor friends cried “Get thee to urgent care, woman!”

So here I am, hunting and pecking on my keyboard with my hand bound tightly so my pinky finger can try to rejoin its friends where it belongs. It’s been painful and an inconvenience, but whatever. I hunt and peck on a good day (typing was another class that was beyond my capabilities), so it hasn’t slowed me down much. Folding laundry has been difficult, but it’s not like I stay on top of that chore anyway. I don’t let things like this stop me. I don’t believe in staying home because you have the sniffles or a little fever, or not running errands because it’s raining, or using minor injuries as an excuse to not “do.”

No, I save my petulance and laziness for the big things, like Gossip Girl marathons or the first day the sno-cone stand opens for the summer.

You can’t take time off for the small stuff, because you never know when life is going to throw something even bigger at you. What if you take a lot of three day weekends, then you meet a rich Prince Charming who wants to whisk you away to Italy for a couple of weeks? Too bad, you used up all your vacation days!

You just can’t spend too much time sweating the small stuff. Let’s take my friend Sarah. Early in her pregnancy, she found out one of the twins she was carrying was going to have a developmental disability. She didn’t spend too much time worrying about nursery furniture or stroller options as many expectant moms do, because let’s face it, she had bigger fish to fry. She had her precious girls a week ago, but then on Sunday, she developed postpartum cardiomyopathy. It’s a lucky thing she’s still here with us today. After all she and her husband and their babies have been through in a week, I doubt they’re ever going to spend too much time worrying about dirty diapers or stained carpets or even bigger things like college tuition.

It’s all about perspective. That first x-ray looks great. The second, not so much. Same hand, but different view. Even as bad as I feel about myself on the outside right now, I’ve got it going on inside. Every radiologist who looked at my x-rays was amazed at how young my bones look. “You have the bones of someone half your age,” I heard more than once. Never mind my gray hairs and forehead wrinkles and middle-age spread. I have teenage bones, dammit! BRIGHT SIDE!

I don’t want to run this weekend. But whatever.

I don’t want to deal with my email inbox. But whatever.

I want some people who I’m usually very close to to just go away and leave me alone for a little while. But whatever.

Everything is A-OK. Even when it’s not.

I Never Thought Running Would Be The Easy Part

Little known fact: I’m training for another half-marathon. After running the St. Jude half, I had absolutely no desire to ever do that again. But then I heard about the Hollywood Half. I found this race appealing because I’m always looking for any excuse to go to SoCal, I could run it with my brother (who lives in L.A.), and because of this:

Hollywood Half Marathon Medal

OOOOO, SPARKLY, SHINY, PRETTY!

Why yes, I am running a race just for the fancy medal. What, I can’t help it, I’m a girly girl!!!!!

But throughout all my recent running, I’ve been incredibly frustrated about something. Who’s the only person in the world who trains for races and runs miles and miles every week and yet still, somehow manages to GAIN weight throughout the whole torturous ordeal? That’s right, THIS GIRL.

I’m sorry, but this is just B.S. Burning excess calories typically helps one lose weight. But I’ve been paying close attention to how my body works, and how it’s performed throughout the years, and I think I’ve figured something out. My body, just like my brain, is obsessed with efficiency. It tries to do as much as possible with as little effort as possible. It’s quite simply lazy. It plateaus easily and often. It says “Oh gee, she’s running again. She might want to make me go a long way. Let me just slow down every function so I can make it through this without breaking a sweat or burning out.”

I’m tired of literally working my butt off just to watch it expand in size. If I’m going to work out this much, I want something to show for it other than a sparkly medal, dammit. I’d already decided to stop running and start cross training after next weekend, but I got so frustrated with my fat on Monday that I went ahead and made an appointment with a personal trainer at my gym. I saw him yesterday, and I’m going back again this morning. I’m aiming for three 45-minute sessions with a trainer per week, plus any extra workouts I can fit in. I plan on doing this until I run out of money or fat, whichever comes first (please let it be the fat, please).

Another reason I really need to make a change? I’m the newest member of the Fitfluential Board of Advisors. It is such an honor! But let’s face it — these bloggers who are health and fitness pros might not want to take advice from a lard butt. I need to fit in with the crowd!

When I met my trainer Paul yesterday morning, he asked if I wanted to spend the first session talking about my history and my goals, or if I wanted to hop right into things. I told him “I am forty pounds overweight. That’s forty reasons I don’t have time to chitchat with you.” So we talked as he trained. He put me through a circuit of squats, chin-ups and overhead presses, interspersed with trots around the indoor track. Every time he told me to put the weights down and run two laps, I was so thankful. My lazy body thought the running was an easy break. I never in my life thought I’d say this but BRING ON THE RUNNING. The fact it was so easy is, I think, proof that it’s not what my body needs.

I really enjoyed my session. I did not cry or vomit, though, and I’m not even very sore this morning. So I’m going to be a good girl and tell Paul he needs to make me step it up a bit. I am definitely a “no pain, no gain” kind of gal, and I want this to hurt! I need to make my body all kinds of angry. I’ve been too easy on it for too long.

PRODUCT PLUG: A couple of weeks ago, I went to the Southern Women’s Show in Memphis as a guest of Lifetime’s The Balancing Act. I had a great afternoon, and they introduced us to lots of vendors, who in turn gave us free product samples. I spent a lot of time chatting with the guys at About Time Protein. The two guys that started this company are personal trainers who wanted to create a better whey protein drink product. They wanted to cut out the fillers and carbs and extra calories, making a protein drink suitable for women and kids and anyone else who doesn’t want to bulk up or put extra crap in their body. They also wanted to manage production themselves, so they could control every aspect of how their protein is made. I like that. A lot. (Also, have you seen how hot Katherine McPhee looks on Smash? She uses About Time.)

About Time Protein

I’ve been thrilled with About Time. Typically after a long, hard workout, I’m really hungry, and I want to eat every carb I see. Instead, I’ve been mixing the chocolate protein powder with a little skim milk or unsweetened almond milk, and the chocolate milk concoction has really been satisfying me. Nick has been using it pre-workout. He started an early morning boot camp, and after the first session, he decided to drink some About Time before his training. He’s noticed a huge difference in his performance and energy levels during his workout. And I’m going to start giving it to the boys as an afternoon snack. They always want something sweet, but I won’t let them have candy or cookies. And the snacks they eat — lots of crackers and carbs — leave them hungry for more an hour later. I’m hoping the yummy flavors will satisfy their sweet tooths, while the protein will fill them up with something healthy. Although I was given a large container of About Time for free, we will definitely be buying more!

I feel good that I’m trying to take better care of myself. I’ll feel even better when I get my body back to a healthy, comfortable size. Wish me luck!

Little Things Make A Difference

I’m drowning. I’m swamped by inboxes and to-do lists and a host of other must-be-done-now nonsense. So when something comes along that makes my life easier in small, subtle ways, I rejoice.

That’s how I feel about my Droid RAZR. Remember when I said I was going to be a Verizon Wireless Ambassador? Well, they sent me a new Motorola phone to try out. I was so pumped when it arrived. I am the type of person who buys new technology for two things: its usefulness (namely, its ability to make my life easier) and its “wow” factor. With the Droid, I was fully expecting to be wowed, since it was unlike any phone I’d ever used.

When I took it out of the box, charged it up, turned it on, and heard it buzz and say “DROID” in that creepy cool robot voice, I was pretty excited. The graphics looked fantastic. It was sleek and light. So far, so good.

But after the initial wow? Eh, I thought, it’s just a smartphone.

I’ll admit — I was jaded. The novelty factor was wearing off quickly. I was a bit like a kid at Christmas — excited about playing with new toys, but quickly shoving them aside for the comfort of my old favorites.

But as I began to really use the phone, I noticed some things. The slickness of this Droid doesn’t come from a logo or a cool ad or a simple interface. Rather, it comes from some little features that have made a big difference for me. Here are a few:

  • Screen size – It’s big. And pretty. And the graphics are crisp and clear. Sure, this is great for gamers or those who watch lots of videos. But it’s also great for people like me who are, shall we say, in the prime of our lives. One of the drawbacks of primetime is suddenly finding yourself squinting at the small print, or having to bring your phone right up under your nose to see what you’re doing. Not with the RAZR. I can hold that baby at arm’s length and see things clearly and pretend like I’m not middle-aged.
  • Cursor position – I can put my finger in the middle of a word and, lo and behold, that’s where the cursor goes! LET THE ANGELS REJOICE! Because I tell you what, I rarely ever make a typo at the last letter of a word. And I get really mad when I have to delete an entire word to fix said typo. I shouldn’t have to stab my fat finger twice at just the right location and then pray a little magnifying glass comes up. I don’t have time for that business! Thank you Droid for understanding this!
  • Adding email accounts – You know what I else I don’t have time for? Needing to contact an IT pro just to add an email account to my phone. All I want is to send emails, get emails, and even get a notification when one arrives. I shouldn’t need to know anything about SMTP or outgoing servers or anything like that to set this up on my phone. Is that too much to ask? Not with the Droid it isn’t.
  • Contacts – One of the first things I did with my phone was add my Twitter and Facebook accounts. Much to my surprise, when I later went into my phone’s Contacts section, all my Twitter and Facebook friends were in there, too. How cool is that? With my contacts, I’m not limited to just texting, calling or emailing the people I’ve purposely added. Instead, I can communicate with a much larger group of people in a variety of ways.
  • Dual charger – My husband and I spend an inordinate amount of time either trying to find a phone charger or compete over who gets to use the one we’ve managed to unearth from the junk drawer. My RAZR’s charger has two USB ports, so two phones can charge at a time. No more marital strife!
  • The Play Store – I love apps. I love shopping. I love shopping for apps. And I really love shopping for apps in Google’s Play Store. Why? It gives me all the information I want on one page (yay for that big screen again). When considering an app purchase, I can see ratings, how many people have downloaded it, how many people have +1d it, a description, the developer’s info, and related apps all without having to click through to anywhere else. I would love to show you a screen shot of how the Google Play store compares to the iTunes store, but alas, you can’t easily take screenshots on Android devices. BOO, THIS SUCKS. Maybe I’ll try a video sometime.
  • The back button – Just like my computer, the phone has a back button. It takes me back to the last screen I was on, regardless of what program I’m in. It can take me back from a Twitter post to the app store. Back from Mahjong to a web page. No having to go back to a home screen, no scrolling through folders, no passing GO. It’s simple and fast.

Those are the features I’m really digging right now. I’m sure I’ll find more later. When I do, I’ll share them.

There are two features of my Verizon service that I’m over the moon about. They are:

  • No dropped calls
  • The mobile hotspot
Unlike the other things I’ve mentioned, though, these two are no small potatoes. They’re pretty major. So I’m going to devote another post to them later. Let me just say that catching up on some web design work while stuck at a preschool birthday party rocks my socks off.

 

Do you have a Droid? If so, I’d love for you to share your favorite tips and tricks in the comments!
Verizon Ambassadors

The Girlfriend List

Finn has very strong feelings about love, romance, kisses, girlfriends, and anything remotely sweet. Namely, he hates that stuff. With a passion. One surefire way to send him in a rage is to ask him something as innocent as which girls he likes to play with. He goes nuts.

So imagine my surprise the other night when I mentioned bumping into the mother of one of the girls in his class. Finn casually replied “Oh yeah, she’s at the top of my girlfriend list.”

EXCUSEMEWHAT??????

A “Girlfriend List?” Last week the mere mention of the word “girl” made him fake retch, and now he has a Girlfriend List?

I couldn’t let this slide, so I probed further. I quickly grabbed a notepad and pen and explained that I’d help him write more about this Girlfriend List if he’d supply the details.

The following is Finn’s Girlfriend List. He insisted we put his teachers’ names at the top.The girls in his class are listed, along with either a check mark or x by their name. Those with check marks are suitable girlfriend material. The x girls are not. After their names is an explanation of why they do or do not make the cut.

(Names have been redacted to protect the innocent and the short.)

(No, I don’t know what shape thingys are, either.)

Needless to say, I was thrilled to make the cut.

Please notice his very strong feelings about S. He could not stop talking about how horrible she is. He made fake retching sounds for her. I had to add an asterisk. I was afraid we’d get into footnotes. You know what this means, right? He is TOTALLY IN LOVE WITH HER.

 

 

Tuesday Tunes — The Chemical Brothers

Another soundtrack tune this week, but this one’s completely different. It’s from the movie Hanna. Have you seen it? It’s like a creepy version of the Bourne movies. It’s really great. My only complaint with the film is it has not enough Eric Bana in sleekly-tailored suit and too much Cate Blanchett with a horrible Southern accent.

The soundtrack for the film is pretty badass, too. It’s a creation of The Chemical Brothers, and I would argue that never has electronica fit an action film so well.

Unfortunately, there’s no real video for this particular song, so you’ll have to sit back, close your eyes, and use your imagination.
 

I listen to this song a lot as I’m running. It makes me run faster, because I imagine I’m being chased by a tiny blonde man in a polyester track suit. If you’ve seen the movie, you’ll know what I mean. If not, I suggest you imagine something more pleasant.