I’m going to try and migrate from Blogger to WordPress this weekend. Pray for me.
I’m pretty much always on a quest to improve myself. Sure, there are times when I wallow in my mediocrity or take unnecessary pleasure in being bad. But for the most part, I swear, I’m working on it.
And I feel like I’m doing a pretty decent job of it. In fact, that’s why I celebrate getting older. Each year, it gets a bit easier to be the new and improved me. “If I’m this great at 35, just wait till I’m 50!” I think to myself.
Anyhoo, I’ve read a couple of things lately that got me thinking about the person I want to be. I read this post by Seth Godin. I recognized myself in it. Yes, I said recognized, as in past tense. I used to amplify like a maniac. Not so much anymore. But it’s hard work, not being like that. It’s a conscious choice that must be made, many times each day.
I also read this post by Rachel Held Evans. In it, she talks about the character traits she wants to develop. But she used a phrase that, for some reason, really resonated with me. She used the phrase “default setting.” And it inspired me to make a list of what I want my default settings to be.
I’m going to imagine that everything I do is controlled by little switches, and that with each thought and action, I can choose to flip, or not flip, a switch that will affect the outcome. Just to be safe, I’m going to put my switches on the desired default setting in the beginning. Here’s what my defaults will be:
- accepting, not judgmental
- patient, not hasty
- leisurely, not harried
- quiet, not loud
- thoughtful, not careless
- attentive, not inconsiderate
- satisfied, not hungry
- informed, not ignorant
- calm, not irritable
- energetic, not tired
- rational, not crazy
- grounded, not flighty
- present, not disconnected
- on task, not scattered
- loving, not disdainful
- generous, not stingy
- adventurous, not timid
- rich, not impoverished
I took this photo of the Ferris Wheel at Riverfest. I think it only reinforces my belief that carnival rides are creepy.
I never really talk about work in this space. I can’t pinpoint the exact reason why. It’s a combination of things. Mainly because I’m always nervous about mixing up some bad work/personal life cocktail that makes me wake up the next morning filled with regret. (Says the hypocrite who married the guy who was once her boss for a short period of time. Whatever.) I also never say much about work because what I do isn’t the most exciting thing in the world. To others, it’s always seemed fairly glamorous, but to me, it can be a bit tedious. Except when I’m meeting famous people. That bit rocks. But I really haven’t talked about work much recently because I didn’t have lots nice to say, and well, you know what your mama told you about that and all. It’s not that I didn’t like my job. It’s that I didn’t like how I was having to do it. And I just don’t want this space to be the place where I whine about work all the time. I bore you enough already, I’m sure.
But recently, things have changed. Remember that leap of faith I told you about yesterday? Well, I took a new job. It wasn’t an easy decision. I left a perfectly adequate, well-paying position to take a job in an unknown field, with unknown people, with a less certain paycheck. It was scary. But God help me, I had to do it. For my career. For my family. For me. I’m in my third week at me new job now, and I LOVE IT. I’m getting to do exactly what I enjoy doing, and I’m learning so much. Plus, I’m commuting less and getting home at a decent time each evening, which has done loads for my mental health.
What am I doing, you ask? I won’t go into lots of details, but I will say I’m getting to work with this awesome gal. Before she ever even had an open position, I admired her talent, her drive and just plain liked her as a person. I used to dream about getting to collaborate with her one day. And now, look at me.
I probably still won’t talk about work much here. I do prefer keeping my professional and personal lives as far apart as possible. Plus, I’m working on launching a business-type site where I will have a forum to talk about what I do. I’ll be sure to give you details on that when it gets up and running, just in case you’re interested. So yeah, I’ll still be here, making fun of my kids, talking about my travels and sharing recipes from time to time. But just know that there’s a happier me behind this blog now.
I’m glad I leapt.
There’s a really cool church here in Little Rock with a really cool website. At times, they open up their site to voices from outside the congregation (a noble act, which more churches should endeavor to do). Not too long ago, I was honored to be asked by the church’s founder to write a piece on faith. I encourage you to read it here.
From the piece:
There I was, the girl who’s always smugly thinking about how strong her faith is, how solid her relationship with Christ is, forgetting to have any faith at all. I was forgetting to shut up already about the negatives. I was only thinking about the bad that could happen, and forgetting the wonderful ways in which my life could change.
Big changes have happened recently. Go read about my leap of faith, and then come back soon. I’ll tell you how the story ends.