Trying To Create The Perfect Woman

If you could sit down at your computer and create the perfect woman, what would she be like?

(Admit it. You loved Weird Science.)

I’m not a teenage computer geek, but I do have some interest in helping women be their best. In fact, it’s kind of an obsession lately. I’m starting a business aimed at helping women, I’m part of a few groups that focus on empowering women, and a big part of my trip to L.A. was for a meeting about a potential new opportunity for fabulous gals.

But frankly, I’m kind of disappointed in the fairer sex lately. Sure, this disappointment is part of what has spurred me on in my endeavors. But it’s also disheartening. I see so many women who, for lack of a better term, are doing it wrong.

Look, I know I’m not perfect. I do stupid stuff on a daily basis. But I still would like to share my thoughts on what the perfect woman would be like.

  • She’d be confident. She would know her strengths, and she’d be willing to let the world know about them, too. No hiding her light under a bushel! She would always be fearless enough to stand up and say “Check me out, because I rock.”
  • She’d be humble. While she may know her strengths, she would never unnecessarily brag about them, and she would never make anyone feel inferior for not being as strong as she.
  • She’d be willing to share. She would always think of giving before she thought of taking. She’d share her knowledge, her experiences and her feelings.
  • She’d would realize that taking care of herself is a top priority. Her own health, well-being and happiness would most often come first. While she would realize that, at times, her family or job might temporarily demand her all, she would never give her life away completely. She would know that the best thing she can do for those around her is take care of herself, first.
  • She would never have her child or her pet be her avatar. Caveat: Unless her child or her pet is her brand/business. She would have an identity and a purpose that had nothing to do with anyone but her. And she’d never be afraid to have her face, her identity, front and center.
  • She would never clamor for attention. She wouldn’t wave her hands in the air, yelling “Pick me, pick me!” While she would certainly try to seize every opportunity for which she thought she was a good fit, she would never be blatantly obvious in her attempt to seize. She’d know that fighting to be noticed, or begging for freebies, or pleading for money is simply unattractive.
  • She would always put her best foot forward. Her wardrobe would be appropriate. She would be tastefully groomed. She would be awake, alert and informed. She would know her audience, and she would always tailor her approach to said audience.
  • She would always listen. She would pay very careful attention to what she’s told. She would read and re-read when presented with instructions. She would ask for clarification when needed. She would not answer when she did not have the answer, or when her answer wasn’t needed.
  • She would be thick-skinned when it comes to herself. So what if someone criticizes her? It’s constructive, right? Who cares if people talk about her behind her back? At least they’re talking! She won’t take to much to heart, because her heart is protected by her own confidence.
  • She would be sensitive when it comes to others. She would understand that many others are not where she is, and that their shell may be much more fragile. Therefore, she would never do anything to intentionally hurt others. Instead, she would recognize when others are weak, and she would swaddle and comfort them in her strong arms.
  • She would always be honest. She would be honest about who she is. She would be honest about who she once was. She would be honest about how she felt. She would be honest with others. And most importantly, she would be honest about herself.
  • She would always be willing to learn. She would know that she is not always an expert, and she’d be eager to learn more about the areas in which she lacked mastery. And she would know that even if, by hard work, she had mastered a subject, there are plenty of other people who can still add to her knowledge. Or that there are plenty of other subjects she should be clamoring to master.
  • She would always follow her dreams. First, she would take the time to know her dreams. She’d listen to her inner child. She’d pay attention to her longings. She’d even go to therapy if that’s what it took. Then, once she’d figured out what was right for her at that moment, she’d reach for it with all her might. No lazy boyfriend or passive-aggressive friend or doubtful boss would ever take the carpe out of her diem. Her awesome self would go for it with all her might.
  • She would never regret. She wouldn’t, because she would never have to. Everything she did, every decision she made, would have happened with full knowledge and power. It would have, at the time, been the most perfect choice. And therefore, even if later she discovered that a different path could have led to different outcomes, she would be secure knowing that the path she did take was a wonderful one.

Yep, I’ve screwed up every one of these at some point. And I know that no one can be perfect. That would be incredibly boring. And I’m sure I’ve left some things off my list. (What would you add, by the way?) But let’s at least try these, shall we? If we, as women, can even do half of these right, well, there’s no telling what we can do!

P.S. I have to give a lot of credit to Kadi and Lisa and Amelia for helping inspire this post. Plus loads of other women who I am so very blessed to have in my life. Not because they do it wrong, but because they do it right.


  1. says

    I love this though it makes me think of that story about why women have tears – because God tried to put too much into them and some of it leaked out.

    Could it be enough for us all to start thinking and really believing that we’re simply worthy?

  2. says

    I would add persevering but I think that would be the same as following her dreams. It is much easier to give up, give in and settle for less. It is painful to persevere. It requires blood, sweat and tears. It requires sacrifice. But a perfect woman would know that the end result is worth every bit of pain and she would choose every day to push on through. Love this post, Amy and I’m proud to be inspiring women to be their best, along side of you!

  3. says

    Ok. As if I weren’t already charmed by your devastating good lucks and rapier wit, you totally sold me with this post. I love it. I want to be Her when I grow up, except I also want to be Her now.
    I am so thankful to have you in my life, as a friend, mentor, and occasional text-cussing partner. And I cannot wait to see what you’re up to.


  4. Martha says

    I think you have the beginnings of a nice little 14 chapter best-seller there, Amy. Fill in those points with some experiences of real women & you’re on your way!

  5. says

    Very thought-provoking post. I love how much life experience you’ve put into it. You’ve inspired me to write something similar. Perhaps not to post on my blog, but for my own personal reflection and to share with my daughter as she grows. Thanks, Amy.


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