Freaky Perfect

Guys, Don’t Screw This Up. No Pressure Or Anything! But Seriously, Take My Advice.

May 6, 2012 By Amy 2 Comments

Ahem, gentlemen. It’s one week till Mother’s Day. Do you know what you’re going to get that special mother in your life?

Jewelry? Nice thought. But times are tough, you know. She might get upset if you spend too much money. And anyway, unless you’re Brad Pitt, your taste in jewelry probably stinks.

Chocolate? I doubt she wants to waste the calories on something so clichéd.

A new appliance? Actually, I can kind of get behind this one, as I’m a practical gal. But most women do not want anything that even remotely hints at work they should be doing.

A massage/facial/pedicure? All quite lovely. But all quite fleeting.

Lingerie? Only if you want to get the stink eye for the next few weeks. Really, don’t even go there. I thought you would have learned by now.

Allow me to divulge what she really wants:

You see what that is? That is a picture of someone else cleaning her house. That is not your version of tidying up, or the kids making a feeble effort to shove toys under the bed. Nope, that is a trained, insured, professional making sure her home is cleaned from top to bottom, to a level of cleanliness you can’t even imagine.

I’ve told you before how much I love the services of Molly Maid here in Arkansas. And this past week, I had the pleasure of having them treat me to another cleaning service. After moving out of our house, that place was a holy wreck. The Molly Maid team came in and made it gleam. They made it look as if my family had never even lived there. That is no small feat. In a few short hours, I went from stressed out and exhausted to completely satisfied and sure I would get my deposit back. Although I was given this service free as a promotion, I would pay whatever for it. It was that good.

Relaxed. Satisfied. Overjoyed. Pampered. Peaceful. All those words describe how something as simple as a house cleaning made me feel.

Now, wouldn’t you want to give your wife or mother a gift that can do all that? I thought so.

Pick up the phone. Yes, right now. Call 501-758-9996. Buy a Molly Maid gift certificate.

I guarantee you will be happy with their services. I also guarantee you will be happy with her response. (I cannot be held responsible for injuries sustained when she tackles you and covers you with kisses.)

You’re welcome.

Filed Under: Lifestyle, Reviews

His Milkshake Brings All The Girls To The Yard

May 2, 2012 By Amy 3 Comments

Oh how I’ve missed this here blog and writing and all you people out there who actually bother to read and comment. Where have I been? Well, we’ve been moving. For a month. Yes, it can take that long to move house. Even for people like us, who seem to move as often as frat boys tap a keg. I’ll tell you all about it soon.

But I’ll ease back into things with one of those annoying “my kid is so funny” stories. Because it’s Finn’s warped sense of humor and witty repartee that have kept me going these past few weeks. Over the weekend, he informed me that all the girls in our new neighborhood kept talking to him. He was complaining about how he couldn’t even get his play on without the older ladies (10 and up) stopping to ask him questions. The conversation went like this:

Me: Well, that’s going to be your life from now on. If you’re charming and adorable, the girls will want to talk to you.

Finn: I don’t want my life to be like this. People just want to pat me on my head and talk silly to me because I’m small and cute.

Me: That’s a good thing, I promise. One day when you have terrible teeth and acne, you’ll long for these days. You’ll wish the girls thought you were cute.

Finn: Cute is horrible. I’m getting tired of being cute. Cute is annoying.

A day later, my mom was brushing his hair. Mind you, hair brushing is a rare occurrence in our home, even for me. It’s not like we’re feral or anything. We all wash and style our hiar. Nick even uses product daily. It’s just that none of us properly brush our locks. So having Mamie pass a brush through their mops is kind of a big deal for my boys.

Anyhoo, after the grooming, Finn ran to the bathroom to check himself out. He came back into the kitchen, but promptly returned to the bathroom a few minutes later.

Me: What are you doing?

Finn: Checking my hair.

Me: You need a haircut, but it looks nice.

Finn: I know it does. The first time I went into the bathroom, I thought “I look like Justin Bieber.” Then when I came out and thought about it, I thought “No, I look better than Justin Bieber.” So I went back in to check myself out again. And it’s true. I do look better than Justin Bieber.”

Lord help me. I don’t know what to do with this child. Most parents have to worry about teaching their children to have self-confidence. I’m going to have to worry about knocking mine down a notch.

But honestly, he is pretty adorable. Cuter than Justin Bieber, in my biased opinion. Even with that zit on his chin.

Filed Under: Family

I’m Just Going To Come Right Out And Say It

April 16, 2012 By Amy 12 Comments

Yes, Hilary Rosen made a boneheaded comment. If you’re a mom, you work. Wiping butts, helping with homework, preparing meals, driving kids to numerous activities — it is all work. It is all tiring. It is rarely appreciated. So to say that any woman who happens to be mom has never worked a day in her life is just inane.

But…

I have been a stay at home mom.

I have been a mom who worked outside the home, both full and part time.

I have been a work from home mom.

I’ve tried it all. And I am here to tell you that moms who work outside of the home have it the hardest.

There, I said it.

Moms who have full time jobs outside of the home don’t get a pass on all the household duties. Sure, maybe they have housekeepers or some other help from time to time. But they still have to pay bills, keep on top of daily chores, wipe butts, manage their kids’ schedules, and almost everything else a stay at home mom does. They just have about 40 hours less per week in which to do all that. They have all the same stresses that stay at home moms do, plus the added stresses of the workplace. Sure, many women would never feel satisfied being a stay at home mom, and they choose to work, but that doesn’t mean their life is ideal.

Add in the fact that most working women have to go to a job because it is financially necessary, and that most women have financial worries on top of all those family and workplace worries, and you have a really crappy toxic stew of anger and frustration and depression. And we’re supposed to raise healthy, well-adjusted kids in the middle of all this?

So while Ann Romney certainly worked hard to raise five kids, she does not have a freaking clue about the economic realities most women face. She has never been forced to work outside the home when all she wanted to do was be with her kids. She and Mitt didn’t have to decide between buying food or buying school supplies. She has always had the luxury of choice, and she chose what is, in my experience, the easiest and least stressful option.

Sure, Hilary Rosen misspoke in a BIG way. She owes every mom an apology. But that doesn’t mean we need to give Ann Romney any more credit than she deserves. And it certainly doesn’t mean we need to be duped into thinking her husband gives a damn about the economic and mental struggles a majority of American women deal with every day. Because he doesn’t. So let’s quit fighting each other, and start fighting for ALL mothers to have the luxury of choice.